Expectations for the Best Man and Groomsmen:
A Guide
Choosing who to include in your wedding party can be a challenging decision. Beyond personal considerations like personality, availability, and interest in being involved, it’s essential to manage expectations around the roles and responsibilities.
To help clarify the typical duties of the best man and groomsmen, we’ve created a comprehensive checklist. This guide will assist you in selecting the men you want by your side on your big day.
THE BEST MAN
The best man is usually your closest friend or a relative and plays a crucial role before, during, and after the wedding. His responsibilities, in chronological order, include:
- Helping the groom pick out suits.
- Organizing groomsmen’s suit fitting sessions.
- Planning and hosting the bachelor party.
- Arranging accommodation for out-of-town groomsmen.
- Keeping groomsmen informed about any scheduling changes.
- Arranging a groomsmen’s gift for the groom.
- Attending the rehearsal dinner.
- Preparing and giving a speech at the rehearsal dinner.
- Helping the groom get dressed on the wedding day.
- Ensuring the groom arrives at the ceremony on time.
- Managing payments on the day (e.g., officiant, cake baker).
- Ensuring the groom has the marriage license.
(NB: To apply for the marriage license, you must first register an intention to marry with the Department of Home Affairs and apply for a marriage certificate. Couples must apply for a Department of Home Affairs marriage certificate at least three months prior to the wedding date).
- Keeping the wedding rings safe until the ceremony.
- Organizing the couple’s departure from the reception.
- Ensuring groomsmen look their best (checking boutonnieres).
- Handing the rings to the ring bearer, if applicable.
- Standing by the groom during the ceremony.
- Handing over the rings during the ceremony, if there is no ring bearer.
- Escorting the maid of honour down the aisle after the ceremony.
- Signing the marriage license as an official witness. Optional.
- Driving the couple to the reception, if no driver is hired.
- Organizing groomsmen for photographs.
- Standing in for necessary photos.
- Dancing with the bride and maid of honour at the reception.
- Helping the groom change clothes if the couple leaves for their honeymoon from the reception.
GROOMSMEN
Groomsmen are typically close friends and family members. Future brothers-in-law are often included to help them feel more involved. Consider factors such as the length of your relationship, your closeness, and their reliability.
Typical groomsman responsibilities include:
- Attending all suit fittings.
- Helping the groom choose wedding suits.
- Helping plan and pay for the bachelor party.
- Participating in wedding traditions.
- Attending wedding rehearsals.
- Arriving before other guests at the wedding.
- Greeting and seating guests at the ceremony.
- Escorting the mother of the bride/groom to her seat.
- Escorting bridesmaids down the aisle before and after the ceremony.
- Helping make the reception enjoyable for guests (e.g., talking and dancing with unaccompanied guests).
- Providing practical assistance with gifts.
- Helping with any unforeseen complications.
- Dancing with bridesmaids at the reception.
- Loading honeymoon suitcases into the car if the couple leaves from the reception.
- Decorating the getaway car for the bride and groom.
With these responsibilities in mind, you can better determine who among your friends and family will best suit your needs and enjoy the process. This list will help ensure everyone knows their roles and make the wedding day smooth and enjoyable!